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[link widoczny dla zalogowanych] Chad Johnson is making a comeback. Three years after changing his last name to Ochocinco,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the man born Chad Javon Johnson will be going back to his given surname.
"I've done enough with Ochocinco," the former Mr. Johnson told ESPN's Trey Wingo. Yes, like having the least productive stretch of his career since the name change became official [link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Ochocinco didn't elaborate on why he was making the change, but given that his return to Cincinnati is questionable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the logical explanation is that he wants a fresh start wherever he ends up. That means no silly name changes and probably no fighting with his coach, like he's currently doing now. (If Ochocinco does stay in Cincinnati,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he'd have to pay for the unsold "Ochocinco" jerseys.)
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[link widoczny dla zalogowanych] Last week I made a bargain with the grandbrats to take them out for a Sunday meal, not realizing it was the day of the NFL league championship games �� which I consider the best day of football during the entire season.
I connived by convincing them they would love wings and wraps in a place with dozens of TVs. It wasn��t up to me to tell them the sets would all be tuned to football and that the wait staff would all be wearing football jerseys with the names of major NFL stars.
Once we got there, they didn��t much care because they loved the menu and for kids the energy of the place was fun, as was seeing a room full of adults acting like kids. They also liked the idea that since I was paying attention to the game I didn��t bother them with stupid grandfatherly questions �� like "How are your school grades?"
Too, without mom or dad, they had access to the unlimited glasses of soda that comes with the purchase of a soft drink ($2.29). I had a beer ($5.95),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but unfortunately the same refill policy did not apply.
We decided to start by sharing an order of wings. We ordered a dozen ($8.99). The amount of wings is the easy part �� deciding on the sauce is more complicated. There are 14 choices ranging from gentle Sweet BBQ to Blazin��. We split the order with six Parmesan Garlic and six Honey BBQ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], with both halfway on the heat meter. The Honey BBQ was well-received being sweet but not too spicy.
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I didn't think it was possible for me to care about anything less than whether Brett Favre(notes) retired or not. Then Ochocinco announced the name re-change. Frankly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I feel used by this whole process. For months I resisted calling him Ochocinco because it was so preposterous and felt like when I asked all my friends to call me He-Man. Of course,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I was in first grade at the time.
At some point,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], though, he became Ochocinco. Whether it was the repetition in hearing it or the fact that I had to write it here on Shutdown Corner, I don't know. It was a gradual process. Whenever it happened, it happened, and I'm sure I'm not alone. Nobody really wanted to call him Ochocinco but eventually we all did.
[link widoczny dla zalogowanych] And isn't that the grand achievement in all this? He managed to make having "OCHOCINCO" on the back of his jersey so normal that it lost its absurdity. That's why he's going back to Johnson,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not because he wants to mature,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but because Ochocinco lost its shock value. Those teenage girls at the mall don't keep their pink hair forever either.
Don't stop mangling your Spanish quite yet, though. Ochocinco hasn't filed the paperwork yet for the name change and has gone back on this promise before. In 2009,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he said he'd change it back if Darrelle Revis(notes) shut him down in a game. Revis did and Ochocinco didn't follow through.
With 35 days until then,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], both sides are resorting to posturing, as happens when there is a looming conflict. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and NFL Players Association director DeMaurice Smith are snorting and sniping and making the expected threats.
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